


Frissons de l'âme

by UndressedHeart



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Chris thinks too much at least, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, i don't know if u can really call this angst tho..., idk how to tag help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 01:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9212528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndressedHeart/pseuds/UndressedHeart
Summary: Chris doesn't skate any more but goes to the ice rink anyway and his mind is full of thoughts but someone comes to save him because he will never be alone, he never was.aka "im crying on the ice but my boyfriend loves me" something like that





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii !  
> So, this is my first fanfic about YoI and I'm surprised it's about Chris and his boyfriend but I guess they made their way to my heart and I couldn't help myself (also there isn't enough things about 'em I needed to do something!!!). I did say it was angsty in the tags but I don't really know if it is... Chris is just a bit sad and you know... The joy of retirement and the quest of a meaning... Even if it's too short to really be a quest.  
> ANYWAY.  
> I hope you'll enjoy this little baby.
> 
> (+) English isn't my native language so i'm sorry about the mistakes :((

Cold, soothing, calming. The ice rink in the morning was something he always loved and will always love. The sun caressed the ice, a sweet light brightening the white and frosted water. There was something magic about it, you can even wonder if a fairy isn't in the corner. Fingers running through his short hair, he sighted and let his body going on the ice.

One, two, three.

It's only steps, small steps, shy steps but he somehow forgot how to do it properly, how to be a simple man on the ice and not a furious competitor. It's been a long time since he went to the ice rink just for his own pleasure. It's a strange feeling, as if something was missing and as the same time something new is here, something he didn't know or forgot about. A happiness he couldn't really describe but his heart was beating fast.

One, two, three.

He tried one jump, the easiest of them all and just landed it perfectly. A smile grew on his face. He couldn't really deny being an athlete, he couldn't really deny being born for it, training for it, giving his life for it. He just couldn't prevent himself. He tried. Just a normal skating, he was still trying but everything was calling him, every inch of his body was crying, the temptation was too big and he couldn't stay like this ; he need to dance, he need to do something. He didn't want to be on the ice to skate calmly, he wanted to be there to make the ice melt under his body's heat, he wanted people to look at him, to stare at him, he wanted to make them go red.

One, two, three.

The music started. He promised that he won't do anything stupid, that he will take care of himself. He promised he knew how to stop, when to stop but here he was. The music was resonating between the walls, the ice was vibrating, his body was shivering. It's pleasing. He missed this. He missed it so much.

He stopped ice skating a while ago now. He was too old, they said. He had no chances left, they said. It was probably true but maybe he didn't need to hear it, not like that but everybody knows that journalists are tactless.  
And words are flooding into his mind. _You can't do it any more. Are you going to retire ? Is this the end ? You never won gold, what's your feeling about it ? Being in the Russians shadow isn't too hard ? You could have been better.  
_ And he wants to forget.

 

The sun was now too high in the sky. The ice rink was bathed in light. Nothing was magic any more. This was just the good old ice rink he knew. The ice was too cold, bruised by the blades. The music has stopped. He was breathless. His cheeks were red. His eyes were red. He probably looked pathetic. Lying on the floor, he didn't know any more. His body went numb, his feet were useless. He closed his eyes, he didn't really want to know what was happening. He was too tired to think. Maybe he was really old. Maybe he really couldn't do it any more. Maybe he really was useless now. Bursting into laughs, he seemed to have lost his mind. Better laughing than crying, right ? He didn't really know what he wanted to do now.  
The ice was really cold and so was his life now.  
What's the meaning of skating now ? Why does he have to go on the ice again ? Does he really want it ? Does he really need it ? Does he...

 

 **“You promised, you know...”** and gentle voice broke the silence. A smile appeared on Chris' face. **“Yeah, I promised...”** he said and he probably can't keep promises, he thought. **“Come here...”** the voice is still gentle, soft, sweet as the morning ice and Chris couldn't do anything but lifting his dead body to go back on the earth. **“ I'm sorry...”** muttered the blond and he was really sorry. You could tell by his smile. A hand went through his hair, he closed his eyes again, laughed. “ **It's okay, you know.. I understand”** and that's what he needed to hear. _I understand_. He needed to be understood, he needed to be seen as a weak person sometimes and he needed acknowledgement, he needed comfort, support. **“You know, fist I was there just to skate...Just... Turning around and doing nothing but I couldn't help myself and I just ended up doing what I know the best even though I promised and...”** he was turning into a child again and the gentle voice could just laugh softly at this. The hand in his hair went to his cheek and their lips met in a caress. “ **It's ok, I said”** and Chris cried.

 

 **“Come on, come on, you've always been bad at it !”** Chris laughed. His nose was running because of the crying, his eyes were red but a smile was shining bright on his face while his hands were grabbing the one's of the other. **“Chris I'm not too sure about it.. - And I'm here so you don't have to worry"**. A new laugh, a smile and here he was pulling his lover on the ice. When was the last time he took him on the ice ? To see the face of his other half not really reassured, concentrated or pouting was something refreshing -he missed that too. **“So it's been years and you're still really bad eh”** Chris laughed, the other just glared at him **“One day I'll be better than you !"** he said and Chris laughed again ; **"Oh yeah ? Yeah, of course but you know, you're already are. In your way... Like.. The best in the worst, hm ?”** and because a clenched fist was aiming for his face, Chris just let go the hands to escape. **"You're a child, Chris, a child !”** and they laughed.

 

He can't say his life has no meaning. Skating is over but he knew it, he knew this time would come and he also knows what is left ; his love, his life. he has everything he could ask for and sometimes it's hard, sometimes he needs to cry and sometimes he just needs arms.  **"You're just going to hug me on the ice forever ?"** and Chris laughed at his lover's words, hugging him tight against his body.  **"I could do much better on the ice..."** he winked and this time, a jokingly slap found its way on his cheek. His boyfriend was red, probable embarassed or maybe a bit flustered and it made him laugh and he kissed his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his lips. Messy kisses all over his face. And it was alright, he was alright. 

 


End file.
